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"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do." -Helen Keller.

I would love to buy that woman a beer.

From the Files of "Maybe it's Me."

So I suppose I'm a crap friend. I don't think I am. I will (and have)sit up with my friends late into the night if their wedding dress needs to be done/cat died/they're working late/just alone. But then when the crisis is over, I usually feel like I'm forgotten. I've examined this phenomena carefully, to determine if I'm just being overly sensitive(and maybe I am), but it really seems that it happens just about every time. I've tried mentioning it to people, asking them to pay me more attention(maybe even when they don't specifically need me), but it seems that they're always busy. Maybe it's because I'm a whiner, I don't know. But I'm not trying to whine, I'm trying to directly ask for what I need. And I don't think I'm controlling. I try not to say "I want you to. . ." and directing every little step of the relationship unless it's something I do specifically need. I try just asking for consideration/friendship/thought about what I might want/communication about what my friends want in return, but my friends always say "Yeah, ok" and then that's the last I hear from it. I'm turning into a hermit and I hate it. Maybe I'm pushing people away because I'm in a bad pattern, but it's hard to get out of the pattern if no one wants to help.

My mother told me this weekend that while my grandfather lay dying, when people would ask him how he was doing, he'd say "I don't think I've had a better day." I want to be that person, but I want to avoid being false. I know, most people in the world could give a shit how I'm actually doing, I guess I just want one or two who do.


I usually don't do these, but it looked like fun, so. . .

Stolen from Carissa.

Type "[Your Name] needs" into the Google search engine and post the top ten results in your journal!

"So after having to trawl through three pages of other Sarah’s blogs with their own Sarah Needs’ posts. I managed to scrape a list together. ..."

"Sarah needs a cold shower, self esteem. . ."

"Sara needs to hand him one of those weapons that went off without warning ... Sarah needs to get her life back and establish herself as the person in charge ..."

"Sarah needs to kick him in the nuts. (You know who you are. And I know who you are - and I know you don't read this blog, so you'll have no warning!) ..."

"The only problem is you then have to skip through all the blogs listing their Sarah needs findings in order to see what else Google comes up with. ..."

"Kuzzin Sarah Needs Your Manly Vote. Mon,"

"Update, or Sarah Needs to Blog More"

"Sarah Needs To Die - "

"Baby Sarah Needs Your Help."

" Sarah needs sleep "

Quote of today.

Today's quote of the day comes from Michael, a senior.

Me: If ______ were any gayer. . .
Michael: He'd shit glitter. 'Cause that's what happens when you're really gay. You become a glitter shitter.
Quote of the day from Kienan, a sophomore:
"I'm against sewing lizards. Just because they don't have eyelids doesn't mean they're not people too."

Jun. 5th, 2007

When I was 2, my mother bought me a tricycle. Stubborn kid that I was, I had decided that the way to make it go was to push, equally hard, with both feet on the pedals at once. My mother tried to show me how to push with one foot, then the other and don't you know, the trike moved! Stubborn me though, I insisted that the only way to make it work was to keep pushing. My mother finally went inside as I sat on the patio and screamed 'cause that trike wasn't going anywhere. After awhile, I must've gotten tired or something and I let up with one foot. My mother came outside to find me happily pedaling around the patio, not screaming. I figured out that since what I was doing wasn't working, I should try something new.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Albert Einstein.

Since I was two, I've found myself in lots of situations where my stubbornness and resistance to change has gotten me into trouble, or at least hampered my effectiveness. If I start getting into a frustrated pattern, I simply have to recall the above and then I laugh and go "Yeah, ok. . .Einstein was probably smarter than me, I should stop being insane." If things aren't working out, I've discovered that the very best thing to do is to change the way I approach them, not to expect the whole world to change for me. 'Cause friend, that ain't happening. And I can either beat my head against the brick wall of what ain't changing, or I can change. And in the past. . .oh 30 years or so I've learned that it hurts a lot less to change.
Today's quote of the day is from Jocelyn (a senior): "If you stick an M&M up your nose, it will start to melt. I just learned that this morning. Bye."
Quote of the Day is from Katie a senior on Drew (a graduate's) bisexuality.

"He said: I like cock! I like cock! What you got, I like that too. I can use that, but I really like cock!"


A thing of such beauty must be called love.

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January 2009


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